Time Flies

 It’s been a while since I wrote anything for public consumption – there’s been a lot going on in my life! So let’s talk about it….

First off, let me just say that the Universe is listening, whether you think it is or not. I highly recommend being absolutely certain if you think you’re ready for change, and feel the need to ask for it. Last year, I was at a point in my life where I felt stagnant, like I wasn’t moving forward or contributing anything to our community. I felt stuck. I decided to perform a small private Full Moon ritual for myself and ask my God and Goddess for …… something. Anything. Motivation. Change. Movement. Just something so I didn’t feel like I was stuck in the mud anymore.

Boy, did they respond!

In the past year, I’ve moved, changed jobs, lost friends, made new friends, created a completely unique show for my ren faire troupe, and started some new projects I never would have imagined before. It’s been a crazy roller coaster of a ride, to say the least, but I recognize now that it was all necessary.

I will admit, when things started going sideways, I felt blindsided. It was not pleasant. But then again, shadow work isn’t always fun – but it is necessary. When it’s time for a shift, the Universe won’t necessarily warn you, whether you think you’re ready or not.

When I lost people that I thought were my friends, I was hurt. When I lost my job, I was devastated. When I realized I couldn’t afford to stay in my house, I panicked. I spent a good chunk of time just staring into nothing with no idea what to do next or where to turn. I had no money, nowhere to go, no clue how to fix any of it. Until I did know.

I found another job. It doesn’t pay as much, but that’s ok – it’s a lot less stressful. And it turns out that in a couple months I can find something else within this company that does pay more. I’ve already got people looking for other positions for me, so that’s cool.

I found another house. I’m sharing it with my youngest son, and honestly, it’s a total win-win for both of us. Plus, I’m in a much safer neighborhood now and I have central air again – huzzah!

As far as people and friends, that’s always going to be an ebb and flow. There are people in this world who need an enemy, who need to blame anyone else for their problems rather than take responsibility for their own actions. I know I make mistakes, and I try to own up to them when I do. But sometimes …. sometimes I’m just an easy target. My father once told me that if you stick your neck out there, expect it to get chopped sometimes. Thick skin helps. So does being clueless….

And I have two new projects that my not-for-profit has been working on lately. One of them is a discussion class at The Ohm every second and fourth Wednesday, and the other is working with another not-for-profit to get food to the unhoused in our area. If you’re not from Missouri, well, let’s just say the folks around here have very strange and cruel interpretations of their Bible, and apparently taking care of those less fortunate just isn’t in their wheelhouse.

So here I am – I don’t have as much as I used to, but that’s ok. I’m still alive, I’m still doing what I love, I’m still surrounded by those who love and care for me, and in the end, that’s really all that matters. 

And I have learned a very important lesson – be careful what you ask for.