Finding Your Community

There are a lot of different paths in this spirituality we call Paganism.  You can be Druid,  Wiccan, Asatru, Hellenistic, or just a good old-fashioned kitchen Witch.  No matter what you call yourself, we’ve all got common threads that bring us together.

However, in recent years, some factions have been taking the differences and using them as tools to attack and denigrate each other.  My take on this is, if no one has broken any laws, then what the hell?  Everyone does stuff, and not everyone is going to agree.  Here in my area, we have a standing policy of “agreeing to disagree.”  It doesn’t mean I condone everyone’s actions or will just stand idly by if I do see someone breaking the law or doing something unethical.  It just means we don’t attack different ideals.

Paganism does tend to draw strong personalities.  You can go to any festival and see it for yourself!  Women in long, flowing dresses and tons of jewelry, men with poet’s shirts and horns on a leather thong tied around their heads – ah, the festival Lord and Lady.  Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy dressing up and having a little fun myself. I do, however, have a problem with pedigrees.  You know, the people that studied with so-and-so and did this thing and the other thing and had this honor bestowed upon them by the great Grand High Poobah of the Crystal Rainbow tradition from the Black Forest.  Whatever you may believe about the history of Wicca or Paganism, you can be given all the knowledge in the world and still not know what to do with it.  Just because you’ve studied with someone with vast stores of knowledge, that doesn’t automatically mean you are going to know what to do with the information you’ve been given.  I’m sure some people would say a great scholar would never take on some blithering idiot as a student, but I have seen it before.  Potential is one thing – living up to it is another.

 

My greatest piece of advice for anyone looking for a group – assume nothing.  If you studied with some great teacher, don’t think that anyone is going to be impressed by that.  It’s great that you’ve got the knowledge, but how you use it is the important thing.  If you do find that people are all terribly impressed by a pedigree, you might want to rethink your association with them. 

 

Should you take it upon yourself to start a group or a public gathering for your community, be prepared!  I can’t tell the number of times I’ve offered to start something – a study group, a coven, a public event – and had people in my own Pagan community come out against it and attack any attempts to educate or bring people together.  That brings me to this individual:  The Victim

 

Oh, the poor victim.  They have been harassed and persecuted just because of their religion.  They have tons of proof, too.  They seem to get fired all the time, and they will be the first to tell you it was because of being a Witch.  These are the people that want to have big, secret coven meetings, but will tell everyone they know about the big, secret coven meetings, including their co-workers and bosses.  They will wear pentacles the size of dinner plates and wonder (loudly) why no one will wait on them at their local department store.  Somewhere is a blog with their name on it giving lists of intolerant and prejudiced companies, people, publications, etc.

 

I have found that the victim has a need to be special.  Being Pagan gives them a great opportunity to be just that, as long as they are being persecuted.  But as Paganism becomes tolerated by society as a whole, the less status is given to the victim.

 

That’s enough about that.  Eventually, the perpetual victim will find someplace else to be persecuted, where they can get that sympathy and pat on the head.  Like most people, I don’t have time to hold everyone’s hand and treat each one with kid gloves.  If you try to cater to the needs of the victim, you end up spending more time and energy on one single person than you would on the entire community.  Then you end up being the Superhero, and suffering from Superhero burnout.

 

I know a lot of people like this.  They have worked so hard, spending years to try and help create a community that is healthy and whole.  They put together public events, speak at colleges, interview with the local newspaper and television stations.  They become giant targets for the naysayers and even some misguided local ministers.  They spend their own money and sacrifice all their free time.  In the end, they generally decide that if no one else gives a rat’s ass, why should they?  I have seen so many good people try to get local leaders together to try and agree on just one thing that would be for the good of the entire Pagan community only to get shot down because one person didn’t want to play nice.

 

And I can hear it now – why should I play nice?  What if I don’t like the people I’m involved with in the Pagan community?  What if the person trying to get everyone organized here is a real idiot and no one likes him or her, either?  I have always said, if you have a better idea, then please, let us hear it!  It is possible to be civil and work together for the greater good and present ideas without everything turning into World War III.  Working together means sharing your ideas, not walking out of a gathering and trashing the facilitator to anyone that will listen.

 

There are always going to be arguments towards keeping the secrecy of Pagan spirituality.  I think what many people miss is that it’s not necessary to explain the whole of every ritual to the average person.  We should keep our secrets.  I would certainly never invite the press to an initiation ritual!  However, that doesn’t mean they don’t have the ability to grasp at least some of our basic tenets and beliefs.  As long as there are people out there who believe we worship demons and sacrifice babies, there will be a need for education and some disclosure.  Humans fear what they don’t understand.  In the words of Genesis (the rock band, not the book!), “And you kill what you fear, And you fear what you don't understand.” (song - Duke’s Travels, album  - Duke)